Hello world.
I blame my friend Josh for implanting the writing bug into my system again. It’s been awhile since I’ve written anything on this. But alas, I do find myself enjoying this old habit.
The past year and a half has been one crazy ride. It’s such a cliche thing to say, and more often than not it’s not a sincere statement — usually it’s an exaggeration to make one seem more “cool.” But in all honesty, it has been crazy. I’ve learned an incredible amount about myself.
I was under the impression from around my sophomore year of high school that my identity as a person was found in my friends, and what we did together. This led me down a path for a period of about four years that I never want to go down again, no matter how much my human nature begs me to.
Don’t get me wrong. I love all of my friends, and I thoroughly enjoy spending time with them. However my identity is not found in them, because truth be told, all of them have the ability and capacity to walk away from me. Friendships are not an eternal connection, nor are they perfect in any way. Like any relationship, they are prone to squabbles, distrust, hurt, or rejection — they can fail for any reason. But, as I went down the rabbit hole into a dream world that I concocted, I kept promising myself that true happiness for me was found in the relationship I was in at the time, and my other friendships. Because I lied to myself, I learned a great lesson, and paid for it.
Thankfully, the God that I believe in is a faithful god, and did not leave me nor forsake me.
Leaving home on March 16th of last year was the worst decision I’ve ever made. Coming back home on June 17 of last year was the best decision I’ve ever made — and I thank God every day that he brought me home. I’m now getting back on the right path, the one that allows for regular, normal friendships like anyone else, but at the same time keeps everything in my life under the lens of God’s perspective.
Do I still screw up? Every day. I will be the first to admit, I am nowhere close to being an example of Christ. I am a profane, hypocritical person who is still struggling to reconcile the choices and habits I’ve gotten into in the past, with my Christian identity. I will sort it out. But I’m still working on it.
God never fails.
What have you learned in the past year?
– Ricky
